what my head contains

life… there is a lot of it here in this world. in every nook and cranny of this planet that we call ours, creeps with life. this is a living world after all. it is i think the most abundant of all the things that is here… as i journeyed through the rough terrains and different places of the US of A a couple of weeks passed… i saw through my own eyes the wonders and the beauty of our home world. having seen them made me feel alive even though it was just a period of time… during at my so called journey, i saw that life is thriving even in the driest dessert that we drove by…. it made me think that maybe all i need is just to travel around some more and try to see what else the world has to offer and to see for myself that this world is not that muddled as i really think it is. life is truly wonderful for some people… and upon seeing some of the most wonderful things i had my eyes laid upon, it made me wonder….wonder if life truly is wonderful. i got to thinking about the phrase "to live and to let live" and if i were to give life another chance and let other lives infiltrate the fort and destroy the barricades that has stood around me for what seems like forever… would it make a difference in my life? and would i be hurt again? but the most important question is… am i ready to let others infiltrate the fort??? it seems to me that no matter what i do there are still questions revolving around it that keeps me from wondering what would happen if i give it a try. but who knows maybe i would try it out sometime and see for myself why other people make such a big fuzz about it. but as to what i have seen during that short trip… i can truly say that life here in this world are being led differently wherever we are and however we live it. and i guess that’s why life here on earth has such great diversities because of that. life isn’t that bad… it may be for some other people that claims to have everything they want and can get anything they want in this world… but what about those people that cant get everything and anything they want in this world??? how do they see the world? look at that… even though i try to write something positive about life the negative always gets out. well then maybe it is life’s way of balancing everything… like what the chinese call the " yin and yang" everything has to be balanced or the world would not function properly… in anycase life has to go on, i guess… until our extinction that is. but no matter how long that would take us into our own demise life is meaningful if you have peace and truly accept on how you are and what you are in this world…

i think the title very much speaks for itself… for a number of years i had been doing the complete opposite of what it means and i almost always end up getting hurt or getting the wrong end of the rope. but now i am fed up with all of these crap that i myself, being a human, decided to trust no one but myself…. trust…humph…. that word alone doesn’t even breach the insides of my corrupted brain.trusting no one definitely has its perks… and i can not deny that it also has its downsides… but over the years you get accustomed to its downsides that it feels like its just a part of your daily routine.this world had always been cruel and unjust to the people that lived in its crust… more so to those people that is trying to just survive and live another day. trusting somebody is really a risk worth taking… at least that’s how i see it. i am knackered of this world and everything on it that i would grab the first thing that would take me away from this dump… i have lost all my hope for all humanity that there are only a few people that i really do trust. humanity or being human… what does that really mean for us now a days??? i think over the years the core and meaning of those two has diminished to just a big pile of nothingness and just a classification from other creatures that lives with us in this world. and not just those two… i also think that trust is a word and virtue that has diminished or not sometimes forgotten ever since it had been introduced to us human beings. from the way i see it people can blurt it out loud without meaning it, just like they are simply discarding something that has no value.trust… who can we trust now a days but ourselves. its really not the words fault, but rather the people that are living in this muddled world that we live in today… people betray people… and even the most trust worthy person sometimes can not be trusted because we really do not know how that person think at all… i do not know what drives a person to betray some ones trust for them at all… and frankly i really don’t care. as long as i inhibit or restrain myself from trusting the people other than those selected few that i already trust… i really don’t give a horses ass what they do with their life or which people they destroy. life is harsh and i think we have to be harsh as well so that we can survive…