what my head contains

its been quite a while since i last wrote something in my blog. too long for me to remember even. all those questions i had in my mind seemed to linger and multiply as i age. those question that made me think what my purpose and my reason for being here and still breathing are still there hanging in the deepest recess of my jumbled and tainted mind. certain events that happened over the months somehow made it clear for me that, in order for me to be sane and to keep my self sane is to just ignore everything else around me and keep myself or rather rid myself of my emotional satisfaction… meaning that i should rather not share what i feel and would not care what people think, say, and do to thier own freaking lives. the feeling of emptiness is still there and i think it gotten worst actually. now, i feel that this body is devoid of anything and everything that makes a human, human. lately i feel like this body i inhabit is nothing but a hallow shell. its funny the way i keep saying this to almost everything that i write, being an empty shelland feel nothing at all. looking back to all the years i’ve been in this world only proves that there is really something better for me out there. and no matter how i cover up these things that i really feel, it still does not make me feel any better… it sometimes makes it feel worst. i tried to be happy but  in the end, it still comes back to that feeling of great remorse and or great sadness. and it leads me back to the very question i have… will i ever be happy in this life?

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 5th, 2006 at 12:20 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.